Liver Spots Treatment
Question by dolittlegirl: How can I forgive myself for euthanizing my cat without proper thought?
Five days after being poisoned by a toad and not eating/drinking but forcefed because of her burns on her nose and mouth with poison, I brought her to the vet in hope to get some fluids and antibiotics. As I could not find my own vet (he did not answer my phone calls at his phone service) another vet never met before came to the clinic with an explanation of even before seeing the cat: she had teeth deterioration and we should prepare her for a teeth cleaning/extracting surgery on Monday. I was very upset that this “doctor” dismissed my explanation of how my cat got poisoned (I found her drooling and eyes rolling in trance and some greenish-yellow mucus sprayed on her neck) and insisted in her findings (she did not even cat’s mouth). Then she started to pierce my poor cat’s already frail body from 5 days of starvation and too little drink, in several places not being able to get to the right spot to inject her with fluids and antibiotics spilling liquids of the injections all over the place and making my cat scream in pain.
And (but only after she tortured my cat with her not too experience proving treatment) AFTER she treated the cat, the doctor recommended me out of the blue euthanasia because “after 5 days of starvation and not too much drink she definitely had her liver and kidney destroyed (boy, how could she rule such findings without a blood test!). The sky fell in my head and the floor started to slip sideways. After we conveened each from behind some invisible walls that I should contemplate such proposal over the weekend (not because we could witness meantime cat’s eventual positive response to the fluids treatment just administered but because the doctor did not have “any help at this time here at the clinic” (any technician), she disappeared shortly and then back with a suddenly changed mind telling me that “help had arrived so we should better do it now.”
THIS IS THE POINT IN TIME WHEN SOME DEMONS STOLE MY MIND with confusion and shock anyway at her suggestion: I asked her from behind my invisible wall if my cat would suffer a long and painful treatment with that “teeth cleaning” business, and, as my cat was 17 years old, the “doctor” assured me that of course she would suffer. At that point in time I AGREED. I agreed to kill my peaceful and modest companion who always was at my side when I was in pain or grief. I agreed to kill her RIGHT AWAY. I had a serious breakdown and left the room crying loudly. When after pulling my hair outside the clinic, I decided to rush back in the room to do something, IT WAS TOO LATE. My Tootsie was lying on a side with her tongue out of her mouth. I touched her and she opened her mouth and her lungs raised under my hand then it was silence and no move. But this was not all as I discovered shortly when he entered the room because I was yelling: she is alive, she is alive: With his stetoscope in his hand, the “help” that had just terminated my cat’s life was … MY own VETERINARIAN who refused to answer my calls that morning and whom I did not see how he got inside passing me. He did not want to talk to me at a time when this irreversible tragedy could have been stopped. THAT discovery gave me my fatal blow, his betrayal. He knew nothing about my cat’s health history, nothing about why I came to the clinic in that morning and however he euthanized her without talking to me before. Now I ask you and please condemn ME if you feel I deserve it (I do): Was it normal for a medical professional to perform euthanasia right after the cat had just received promissing (painful) TREATMENT, without giving her a chance to have a reaction to that treatment? If (I mean IF) she had anyway to go why then did they torture her with that treatment? To take it with her in the grave? I am not talking about my cat about they did not give a damn that she
Answer by imaginethat
You can’t change what happened. There is no sense in beating yourself up about it. You need to grieve the loss of your cat, for sure, but don’t dwell on how & why it happened.
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